despair and recovery

I was down today. I was so low. I woke in pain, and thought of death. I got up, better. So much better. I decided, I'm not meant to die. It was very much a decision that came with one thing - a long inhalation of a smoke, yes. I got up, and I was well - after I smoked. It was then an old friend and then my brother spoke to me, in my body, in a rare full-body channel. I decided then, as they were in the peace, I would not die. Thank goodness. Later it got bad again. Control trips, I called it. But he's okay. Talked and we're allright. Thank God. love, Antoinette (as one with mouse it's still okay. love me mouse)

And (from us) more on hell. There is this - a book. How can I say, I can work to heal? I ask to. Then I do. And I know, many don't ask. So that's it. No, we all try. But consciously? That's the change. That's what I want to affect. I want people to ask to heal. And then it all gets much faster. And so much easier. Love, Us.

p.s. don't overworry anyone who reads. I write because I feel I must. I don't know who anyone is. No one in family reads. Not yet. love, A plus m xox